What to Make of Bad Childhoods
We brought along a Jean-Marc Brocard Montee de Tonnerre Chablis Premier Cru 2009 and some brie de meaux and comte, and chatted until midnight. (You can tell from the crescent moons and lady bugs on the label that this Chablis was made in a biodynamic way. It could have been chilled more though because the bitter edge was rather apparent in the aftertaste. Note to self for future reference: it was also quite nonchalant about the charms of the brie de meaux and comte.)
I appreciated that there was little pretension in the conversation and that lives were shared honestly and openly (it seemed). Not many have Norman Rockwell childhoods, but it is what they make of their lives after that shows their character: there are the sort who blame their parents for everything wrong in their lives (their failed relationships, their meanness towards others, their sexual orientation etc), then there are those who pretend that their growing up years were just perfect in a scary Stepford wives sort of way, then there are others who frankly acknowledge that the early years were really quite shitty but that’s life and one just has to work to live the rest of one’s years in the way one thinks is best.
The third group is usually able to think this way because:
- they acknowledge that everyone is a sinner and therefore, (i) their parents may not have known better; and (ii) they themselves may not have turned out any better even if their parents were perfect; and
- they have a relationship with a Father whom they know cares consistently and deeply for them and always acts in their best interests. Thus valued, they are freed to live in a stable manner and to act in accordance with the will of an unchanging Maker (who has in fact made us to live best that way), rather than being blown back and forth, fruitlessly seeking to fulfil the capricious whims of other sinful humans and/or the latest fashionable philosophy of the day.