Home > Remember Your Creator in Your Days of Youth, transportation - cars > How To Say Goodbye To “An Old Friend”

How To Say Goodbye To “An Old Friend”

Old Nissan Steering Wheel In-vehicle Unit, Old Nissan, Singapore
Wiper Controls, Old Nissan Headlight Controls, Old NIssan
Old NIssan Old Nissan Glove Compartment
Old Nissan Air-conditioning Vent Seat Belt, Old Nissan
Ignition, Old Nissan Shiftstick, Old Nissan
Old Nissan Passenger Side Door Door on Driver's Side, Old Nissan
Pedals, Old Nissan Red Alarm Button, Old NIssan
Interior LIght, Old NIssan Handle, Old Nissan
View from Backseat, Old Nissan Wheel, Old Nissan

1. Acknowledge that the inanimate object never had a mind or will of its own; it never had feelings or thoughts; it was incapable of ever having formed a friendship with you.

2. Acknowledge that the absurd attribution of human characteristics to a non-living object is a perversity and makes a mockery of the difference between those to whom God has given breath and “man-made” creations. Yes, even though you haven’t given it a name.

3. Acknowledge that the emotionality of the parting is merely a projection of personal reminiscences, and then thank God for all the enjoyment of having one’s own vehicle and personal space. And recall how dear Aunty Jane broke the backdoor handle because she kept forcing the door open – she was talking so loudly she couldn’t hear instructions to wait for it to be remotely unlocked; how the boot latch failed to catch properly after ferrying Chloe, her aunt and their personal effects to the airport; how the handles broke people’s trust by coming off in their hands while they were trying to steady themselves; how in the accident with a black cat on a dark road, it was the black cat who was moving a hundred times faster than the car on account of being spooked by a dog on the opposite side of the road; how lizard skeletons were sometimes found in the air-con vents; how we relished the freedom of a set of wheels and how there were great trips to ulu parts of the island; how the lightsticks from some musical festival melted in the heat and how the pants of the front seat passengers tended to glow in the dark for some time after; how i learnt about the inner workings of a car and car maintenance from the various ailments of the SBC; how we could sing  (and how some people could record!) acapella in parts in the privacy of the enclosed space; how i fixed up wires for my iPhone to listen to mp3s on the move; how the mechanic discovered that illegal modifications had been made to the fuel gauge by a previous owner and how it was impossible to tell how much petrol i had in the tank because of this and also impossible to drive to Malaysia for fear of being accused of attempting to flout the three-quarter tank rule; how nice it was to drive a manual car with responsive brakes (especially when one had to jam them); how much leaner and more sturdily delicate (“fiercer!” said Leslie) it looked on the road amongst the new sedans with their fat boots and plastic bumpers; how we tied Singapore flags to the external radio antenna in the period leading up to National Day; how we discovered that the seats weren’t flat, to the detriment of some lovely creamed cakes; how the alarm was brilliantly rigged to sound if any door wasn’t properly closed, but how the system’s politeness in waiting to see if we really needed to be nagged resulted in much untoward noise pollution; how many people were happy at the absence of seat-belts in the back; how John the long-suffering mechanic complained that the car was really smelly but how Aunty J loved the “old car smell” and the fabric roof which reminded her fondly of her “pak tor” (dating) days; how the generous boot space was filled with cricket bats, kites, badminton and tennis rackets, random golf and tennis balls, a basketball, brollies, shoes for various sports, half-read magazines…

4. Smile at the thought that before retro was hip, retro was cheap – S$15,000 for 6 years was a decent enough price for all the experiences the silly car afforded those of us who rode in it.

5. Obtain a de-registration PIN from LTA, drive to the scrapyard. Pick an Authorised Scrap Yard called “Sky Metal” for its unintended reference, in your mind, to sky burials. (Or just call AA Singapore Technical Services Division at 6333 8811/63894270 and ask to use their Scrap Car Service.)

6. Say goodbye…to nothing.

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